What is _____?
It is the colour of dusk;
And a shadow;
And a burnt place;
No anger and hope;
It is evil;
Evil within it's dark magic;
And it is worn for death;
The grief look of a person;
And breathes, the polluted air;
Coal is dark;
In a satisfying way;
They wear dark clothing;
When they act suspicious;
The skins of people, with this shade;
Need more freedom;
Having reasons to explore peace;
And, no grease on their food.....
Need more freedom;
Having reasons to explore peace;
And, no grease on their food.....
By: Yujoon
June 04 2015
I like that you used many different examples of how your object is used/seen. I don't think that you should've put the word "colour" in your poem. I think this made the answer a bit too obvious. So rather than using the word "colour," you could've used maybe "it". I also really like that you incorporated lots of descriptive words into your poem.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Yujoon!
Thanks for the feedback Ethan and I will accept your feedback to edit my poem.
ReplyDelete