What is _____?
                          It is the colour of dusk;
                          And a shadow;          
                          And a burnt place;
                          No anger and hope;
                          It is evil;
                          Evil within it's dark magic;
                          And it is worn for death;
                          The grief look of a person;
                          And breathes, the polluted air;
                          Coal is dark;
                          In a satisfying way;
                          They wear dark clothing; 
                          When they act suspicious; 
                          The skins of people, with this shade;
Need more freedom;
Having reasons to explore peace;
And, no grease on their food.....
                          
Need more freedom;
Having reasons to explore peace;
And, no grease on their food.....
                          By: Yujoon 
                          June 04 2015
I like that you used many different examples of how your object is used/seen. I don't think that you should've put the word "colour" in your poem. I think this made the answer a bit too obvious. So rather than using the word "colour," you could've used maybe "it". I also really like that you incorporated lots of descriptive words into your poem.
ReplyDeleteGreat job Yujoon!
Thanks for the feedback Ethan and I will accept your feedback to edit my poem.
ReplyDelete